Update January 2014

Hey guys,
sorry for the lack of updates and reviews the past few days, been kinda busy with a whole lot of stuff, mainly trying to find a job and such. so there might be a less reviews than expected the coming weeks, but i do plan to finish all the nightmare on elm street in less than a week when i get some time for myself.

December Update

hey folks,
I promised I'd let you guys know if there was any delayes on the reviews, so here it is: there will be some delayes in the comming weeks.
yes, who would have thougt I'd fall victim to the thing known as Christmas, but here I am, dragged from my home to a place in the middle of nowehere (also commonly known as Belgium) to spend some time with a sweet old lady that keeps calling me Raoul or Micheal (swear to god I couldn't make it up if I tried). so I'll be without internet for the coming days, and I'm really sorry about that, believe it or not, I had my Christmas review of ''Santa Claus conquers the Martians'' done and ready to go, but expect it in Januari along with the third and fourth instalment of the nightmare on Elm Street.
and if you're asking about the poor quality of this update, both in timing and grammar, i'm sorry to inform that i'm typing all of this on my Phone while hogging the only wifi hotpoint in town like a madman.
See you next year guys, merry Christmas for what it's worth and have a safe new year.
Grimmbreak

I'm Back!

That’s right, after a short unplanned absence from this blog I finally have some time for myself again.

First off, I’d like to apologies for my lack of reviews the past few weeks, and for not mentioning or warning you all for the upcoming lack of attention. But from now on, I’ve decided to keep a strict agenda, and I promise at least one review each week. I’m not sure of the day yet, and how to deal with the possible delay, but we’ll figure something out, won’t we?

Grimmbreak

Top 10 Favorite movies (5/1)

#5:

RESERVOIR DOGS / PULP FICTION 

Did I already say that Tarantino was a freaking genius? Oh wait, I did? Well, it’s something worth repeating I guess, Tarantino is a freaking genius.

I guess it’s a bit cheating to pick these two at the same time but it’s virtually impossible for me to pick only one as a 5e place, so f8ck it, here’s my 5.5 and my 5.0. and besides, I already cheated with my number eight and no one complained about that one either.

Remember what I said about Tarantino’s writing skills when I talked about ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’? well, same story here, brilliant dialogue and multilayered characters.

Pulp Fiction, probably the more famous of the two, tells the tale of multiple characters who’s stories will cross paths. When a boxer fails to deliver his part in a fixed match, he finds himself on the run from a mob boss and his henchmen, all while one of the henchmen finds himself in a tricky situation as he is asked to take his boss’s wife on a date.

In Reservoir Dogs, a group of robbers try to get back together after a pseudo failed robbery at a jewelry store. Almost the entire movie is shot in the same room, and only leaves once or twice to tell some backstory. And my god, this is where Tarantino’s writing skills shines the brightest. I won’t give anything away apart from the fact that these two movies are something no one should miss.

#4:

JURASSIC PARK

What can I say that hasn’t been said about this movie? Apart from the fact that I have seen this movie so often I can recite the each spoken dialogue in the right order without any problems…in two languages.

A handful of people find themselves stuck on an amusement park island that hosts real live dinosaurs, and of course the things escape and carnage ensue.

This movie blew me away as a kid, hell, it blew everyone and everything away when it came out. The atmosphere, the effects, everything was way ahead of its time, it surprising that the effects look more realistic than any movie that has come out in the past ten years, and for a movie that is 20 years old…damn that’s saying a lot. Jurassic Park was my favorite movie as a kid, and it still holds a very special place in my hearth even today for having started my obsession with these beautiful reptiles ever since.

#3: 

THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILLOGY

Yeah, how could these movies NOT be on a top ten favorite list? The adventure, the amazing world that is middle earth, the characters, the battles, simply everything.

An ancient evil awakens in Mordor as a simple hobbit must make a long and perilous journey to destroy an artifact that could change the outcome of the war if fallen in the wrong hands. With a fellowship of trusty friends and capable warriors, this tale refines the difference between good and evil, and gave us an epic as never seen before.

Yes, I believe this to be the best trilogy of movies ever made, and I’m ready to fight anyone over that opinion, bring it star wars geeks, JarJar Binks can testify.

These movies are the true definition of an epic, a long journey to save the world from an overwhelming evil, with many great battles to keep the tension up.

Tolkien based his books heavily on Norse mythology, something I have spent perhaps too much time studying  and that still amaze me each time I read about it, each story is definitely a recommendation, even if they are more than a thousand years old, at least it won’t put you to sleep like other old documentations of religious events.

What else is there to say about these movies apart that they are on my number 3 for very good reasons.

#2: 

EVIL DEAD 2

Yeah, we knew this one was coming. For those three or five people who have read my review on this little masterpiece of a B movie, they know how much I adore Evil Dead 2. It’s one of the only movie whereas you could ask me literally anytime if I wanted to watch it, that I would say yes ten times out of ten.

What makes this movie so great? How about the style, the acting, the effects, the dialogue, the humor, the horror, the sets and everything else that this movie does.

I have a very personal history with this movie, and it still entertains me after all these years, even more, it changed me as a person, which is something that not many things can do.

Ash finds himself with his girlfriend in a cabin in the middle of the woods when he decides to play a recording of demonic chanting, and as movie logic would have it, the demons see this as a BYOB party and wreck the place by possessing everything that moves, and even that doesn’t move. It’s however how Ash decides to deal with this that makes the movie so great, at first he loses his mind, and then decides he has had it with this sh8t and with a chainsaw in the one hand, and a boomstick in the other goes to town on those sorry hell spawns.

This movie made me the man I am today and I’ll be damned if it ain’t one of my favorite movie.

But wait, how could any movie possibly top Evil dead 2? The movie that influenced me the most and had no other than Bruce Campbell kick demonic ass like a boss? Well…

#1: 

DELLAMORTE DELLAMORE 

(Cemetery Man)

My all-time favorite movie, one who stands proud above all others. I first only saw a glimpse of this movie when my father and I were looking for a cheesy 80’s one-liners fest. I only caught a single scene, but that was all it took. I looked it up later on my own and I fell in love with it. I feel I can’t do it justice in such a short resume on a top 10, so I hereby promise that I will review it in all its glory in the future.

But in short, what is it about? Love, death, life and the insanity that comes along with it, what happens when you make a promise you can’t keep by throwing the word “forever” and how it can bite you back the ass, hard. Francesco Dellamorte is the groundkeeper at the Buffalore cemetery, his lonely life consist of putting the dead back to sleep when they decide to wake up, yes, this is a zombie movie.

But strangely enough the zombies are but an undertone of the movie, where the focus really shines is in our lovesick protagonist and his damned romance that begins in tragedy and ends in death.

To truly understand this movie you’ll have to watch it for yourself, and even then, the movie is so full of obstructed symbolism and themes that it will take more than a few views to get an idea of the true story that this tragedy tells. Like War Of The Roses, a huge aspect of the movie revolve around the slow decent into madness and the pain that comes from passion.

This movie is for me the perfection of the human art, to others it might seem like a very weird movie about zombies and some romance in the mix, and I respect that, but for me, it’s simply perfect.

The depth that this movie brings for someone who can truly see what lies beneath the surface is something that I truly admire and love with a passion beyond words.

Honorable mentions:

#16: Evil Dead 3: Army Of Darkness

#17: Merlin (1998)

#18: Constantine

#19: Serenity

#20:Sweeny Todd

Top 10 Favorite Movie (10/6)

Well, here’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a while.

As a self-proclaimed movie critic, it is only natural to ask what I believe are good movies. In my case, movies I like and movies I think are good are two completely different things, for example, is Birdemic a bad movie? Oh god beyond yes. Do I like it? Oh sweet mamma yes. Point made.

Then again there are also some movies that are considered masterpieces that I think are utter and complete waste of space, for example Moulin Rouge, according to most an Avant Guard masterpiece of the modern age that shone a light in the French underbelly trough Broadway musicals, my opinion? I’m still trying to get the severed heads of all the people that cooperated to create this abomination to put them on spikes in front of my house as a warning the next a88hat that wants to shoot the next “Great Gatsby”

Anyway where was I? oh yeah, top ten favorite movies, not the best ones, but my personal favorite, the kind of movie you could lock me up with in a basement for 40 days and enough food and water and I’d be all right. And before anything, and I know it’s a shock, but I haven’t seen all the movies ever created, so there’s a good chance your personal favorite isn’t in there.

So let’s begin my personal, chaotic and confused top 10 favorite movies of all time:

#10:

THE WAR OF THE ROSES

  

Here’s the story of what happens when everything goes wrong and how much you can hate someone you love.

Directed by Danny Devitto, this movie has one of my personal favorite subject ever put on film, the slow decent into madness. The idea that we constantly pushes our notion of right or wrong by giving in to the gray areas is simply amazing. How far we are willing to go sometimes can be as scary as fascinating. This dark comedy tells the story of the Roses, a supposedly perfect American family with a working husband and a wife who takes care of the children, all living in a beautiful house. On the surface, everything seems fine, but it slowly comes crumbling down around them as they start to hate and despise each other, at first like any argument between married couple, but as the movie goes on the hatred grows and the two start to go completely of the chart. Eventually going as far as turning the entire house in a battlefield, quite literally actually, going as far as trying to kill each other using almost comedic manners. The slow buildup of the relationship and the final result almost comes naturally, thanks to Devitto’s great storytelling. It doesn’t come as a surprise that the movie end in tragedy, thinking twice about it, the whole thing was a tragedy from the start, and a great one at that.

#9

DR STRANGELOVE 

(or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb) 

Another dark comedy, starting to see a pattern here guys?

Although somewhat outdated according to some, this movie is in my opinion the greatest comedy of all times, why? Simply because the subject is none other than our own destruction.

Based in the cold war, an insane and paranoid colonel commands a squadron to bomb Russian ground with nuclear force. All that without the consent of the president, and with no way to communicate with the planes, the American government  is forced to stop them at all cost to prevent a nuclear Armageddon, even going as far as calling the Russians to warn them and to apologies. But wait, it gets even worse as the Russians admit to have a doomsday weapon capable to destroy all life on earth if Russia is under attack, and to top it all, the machine is commanded by a computer, meaning the Russians are unable to access it.

This movie is purely genius, the greatest comedy of all time, reflecting the hopelessness of the politicians and the Russian to change their fates, cleverly a reflection of the civilians of both countries during the cold war, also unable to reason with their own government in hope to stop them from destroying the world.

The humor is simply timeless and never fail to amuse, especially on such a dark subject as our own demise.

#8

PITCH BLACK/CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK

I’m allowed to dumb fun every once in a while, right? Ah whatever, I’m doing it anyway. Here’s Pitch Black and Riddick.

Here we come to what I said earlier when I said those movies don’t need to be perfect to be on this list. One of my favorite characters from all time, Riddick B Richard is an unstoppable killing machine with an attitude and a hearth of gold…ish…really rusty gold, am I still allowed to say bronze?

In the futuristic year of who-gives-a-f8ck, Riddick, experienced murderer and escapee of Butcher Bay, the universe’s toughest prison, find himself over the course of two whole movies chased by bounty hunters, Vampire aliens, weird roman symbolism with Nazi influents and other amazing and crazy foes. What really makes this movie is probably Riddick himself, and all his moral dilemmas and never ending dream to be left alone. Although Riddick can really make his namesake proud at some times, he is strangely reliable and easy to emphasize with, in a weird way that you wish you were as badass as him, what, just me?

Anyway, Riddick is enough of a badass to propel these movies to the number eight in my list. No further innuendos, symbolism or any of that sweet mumbo jumbo, just pure and raw manliness and testosterones all around.

#7

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

Have I ever said Quentin Tarantino is a genius? No? well I should do it more often, Quentin Tarantino is a genius. What sets him apart from any other directors, besides his often eccentric subject and overall bat-sh8t-craziness, is mainly his ability to write good dialogue, you know, that thing that most other directors use as a shameless way to get expositions out of the way.

And of course most of his movies are heavily dialogue based, I mean, you’re not gonna let Picasso run for derby champion, your just gonna let him do what he does best, painting, or in Tarantino’s case, write amazing dialogue that I could listen to for hours upon hours.

Anyway, back on topic, From Dusk Till Dawn is a joined effort between the two friends, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, that tells the story of two brothers on the run from the law, the one being a classy bank robber and the other a psychopathic nuttjob with very selective hearing. They kidnap a family to get across the Mexican border, where they find themselves trapped in a vampire infested bar called the TittyTwister.

Amazing dialogue, troubled and complicated multi-layered characters, campy practical effects and brutal bloodthirsty monsters that don’t sparkle? And above all, Tom Saviny rocking a d8ck pistol?

Did Christmas come early or what?

#6

OH BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?

You know who else knows how to make good movies? The godd8mn Coen Brothers.

This movie has it all, a retelling of one of my favorite story in modern (ish) age.

Three harmless dumb inmates escape their prison and embark on a mission to find gold, all that in the setting of the harsh world that was the state of Mississippi in the 30’s. like many say, it’s the journey that makes a good story, not the treasure, and damn if this isn’t one of the most amazing journeys ever made on screen. Along the way our three doofusses meet a rich cast of characters and end up more than once in unexplainable situations.

The atmosphere that the movie bring to the table is rich and simply amazing, accompanied with 30’s blues and country songs this amazing comedy is more that deserving of the sixth place of my list

Before moving to the final five, I guess it’s time for some honorable mentions:

#11: American Beauty

#12: Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

#13: American Psycho

#14: Bride of Frankenstein

#15: The Big Lebowsky

Check in next post for the Final 5

Grimmbreak Reviews: Welcome fellow fans

 The more gore the better, welcome to the amazing and confusing world of the B-movies horror flicks.


Let me be your host, as we travel through the tons of gore, cheapest practical effects and the worse acting mankind has to offer. It’s time to leave your dignity behind and laugh when zombies start dancing in the rain to an overrated song and crazy fish people look to sacrifice some random hot blond to an ancient deity, all while we fight the cheap scares and the random distraction boobs thrown on the screen in hope we won’t see the cable holding that possessed demonic girl. See, told you it’ll get weird, don’t say I didn’t warn ya. Feel free to check the reviews, both the written ones and the videos by yours truly.Be sure to check out “ http://www.youtube.com/user/grimmbreak/videos ” for more B-horror randomness


Now, I’m sure you’re all confused and scared as you came to this awesome blog, but fear not! Ok, maybe just a little. But I shall relieve you from you’re confusion by answering the question that keeps you awake at night: 


What is them rei-viuu them crazy folks be talking bout? 

Glad you asked, random stereotype voice only I seem able to hear. A review is an analysis of a certain piece, where the best and the worse are being brought to light for a better understanding of the media. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to bash something as much as possible for the maximum amount of fun. 


What is a B movie? 

Movies that don’t make it to the A list for their often poor quality or bad/disturbing/immoral premise. Those often don’t get a lot of financial support and are shot in the cheapest of ways, and the producers round up a cast of friends or whatever they could scrape from the bottom of the barrel to act in their projects. There are obviously some exceptions, like for example some movie that sounded good on paper, and did get a lot of financial aid, but the director or actors, or someone out there f8cked up royally, and the movie remains as a bad memory or as a guilty pleasure in most of our memory. Oh, and we’ll also review hilariously horrible exploitation movies and some grindhouse. 

Now I know what you’re all asking, and no, you’re not dreaming, this amazing and awesome blog really exist to save you from the melancholy and boredom of the everyday life, but what you also should have asked is: why would anyone want to watch these kind of movies and why bother reviewing it? Well, that’s simple. These movies are beyond awesome, there is a charm to practical effects and there is just so much to love with these movies. Sure, they ain’t perfect, but that’s what makes them so great. Most of the movies are what you can call a “cult movie”, which means that a small, but determined fandom exist for it. And even though lately these fandom have expanded immensely with the growing popularity of b-horror movies, I still feel these masterpieces don’t really get the attention they deserve. 


The f*ck r u?? 

Good question my illiterate friend, good question indeed. Who am I? why I am just you’re friendly neighborhood critic. I am the pen in the night, the voice in the protest against bad remakes and random nudity that doesn’t add anything to the movie but only decrease its value. I am Grimmbreak.
Or…at least I would be if I wasn’t some guy sitting behind his computer b*tching about movies. But hey, perspectives, right?But all kidding aside, I’m a movie lover, especially B-horror. I’m also a gamer and a geek who calls himself an critic, although all my experience comes from watching movies, I didn’t spend years studying cinematography and criticism or anything, I’m just a guy with a hobby, and I’m proud of it, who needs smart people anyway?