Well,
here’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a while.
As a
self-proclaimed movie critic, it is only natural to ask what I believe are good
movies. In my case, movies I like and movies I think are good are two completely
different things, for example, is Birdemic a bad movie? Oh god beyond yes. Do I
like it? Oh sweet mamma yes. Point made.
Then again
there are also some movies that are considered masterpieces that I think are
utter and complete waste of space, for example Moulin Rouge, according to most
an Avant Guard masterpiece of the modern age that shone a light in the French
underbelly trough Broadway musicals, my opinion? I’m still trying to get the
severed heads of all the people that cooperated to create this abomination to
put them on spikes in front of my house as a warning the next a88hat that wants
to shoot the next “Great Gatsby”
Anyway where
was I? oh yeah, top ten favorite movies, not the best ones, but my personal
favorite, the kind of movie you could lock me up with in a basement for 40 days
and enough food and water and I’d be all right. And before anything, and I know
it’s a shock, but I haven’t seen all the movies ever created, so there’s a good
chance your personal favorite isn’t in there.
So let’s
begin my personal, chaotic and confused top 10 favorite movies of all time:
#10:
THE WAR OF THE ROSES
Here’s
the story of what happens when everything goes wrong and how much you can hate
someone you love.
Directed
by Danny Devitto, this movie has one of my personal favorite subject ever put
on film, the slow decent into madness. The idea that we constantly pushes our
notion of right or wrong by giving in to the gray areas is simply amazing. How far
we are willing to go sometimes can be as scary as fascinating. This dark comedy
tells the story of the Roses, a supposedly perfect American family with a
working husband and a wife who takes care of the children, all living in a
beautiful house. On the surface, everything seems fine, but it slowly comes crumbling
down around them as they start to hate and despise each other, at first like
any argument between married couple, but as the movie goes on the hatred grows
and the two start to go completely of the chart. Eventually going as far as
turning the entire house in a battlefield, quite literally actually, going as
far as trying to kill each other using almost comedic manners. The slow buildup
of the relationship and the final result almost comes naturally, thanks to Devitto’s
great storytelling. It doesn’t come as a surprise that the movie end in
tragedy, thinking twice about it, the whole thing was a tragedy from the start,
and a great one at that.
#9
DR
STRANGELOVE
(or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb)
Another
dark comedy, starting to see a pattern here guys?
Although
somewhat outdated according to some, this movie is in my opinion the greatest
comedy of all times, why? Simply because the subject is none other than our own
destruction.
Based in
the cold war, an insane and paranoid colonel commands a squadron to bomb
Russian ground with nuclear force. All that without the consent of the
president, and with no way to communicate with the planes, the American government
is forced to stop them at all cost to
prevent a nuclear Armageddon, even going as far as calling the Russians to warn
them and to apologies. But wait, it gets even worse as the Russians admit to
have a doomsday weapon capable to destroy all life on earth if Russia is
under attack, and to top it all, the machine is commanded by a computer,
meaning the Russians are unable to access it.
This
movie is purely genius, the greatest comedy of all time, reflecting the hopelessness
of the politicians and the Russian to change their fates, cleverly a reflection
of the civilians of both countries during the cold war, also unable to reason
with their own government in hope to stop them from destroying the world.
The humor
is simply timeless and never fail to amuse, especially on such a dark subject
as our own demise.
#8
PITCH
BLACK/CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK
I’m
allowed to dumb fun every once in a while, right? Ah whatever, I’m doing it
anyway. Here’s Pitch Black and Riddick.
Here we
come to what I said earlier when I said those movies don’t need to be perfect
to be on this list. One of my favorite characters from all time, Riddick B
Richard is an unstoppable killing machine with an attitude and a hearth of gold…ish…really
rusty gold, am I still allowed to say bronze?
In the futuristic
year of who-gives-a-f8ck, Riddick, experienced murderer and escapee of Butcher
Bay, the universe’s toughest prison, find himself over the course of two whole
movies chased by bounty hunters, Vampire aliens, weird roman symbolism with
Nazi influents and other amazing and crazy foes. What really makes this movie
is probably Riddick himself, and all his moral dilemmas and never ending dream
to be left alone. Although Riddick can really make his namesake proud at some
times, he is strangely reliable and easy to emphasize with, in a weird way that
you wish you were as badass as him, what, just me?
Anyway,
Riddick is enough of a badass to propel these movies to the number eight in my
list. No further innuendos, symbolism or any of that sweet mumbo jumbo, just
pure and raw manliness and testosterones all around.
#7
FROM
DUSK TILL DAWN
Have I ever
said Quentin Tarantino is a genius? No? well I should do it more often, Quentin
Tarantino is a genius. What sets him apart from any other directors, besides
his often eccentric subject and overall bat-sh8t-craziness, is mainly his
ability to write good dialogue, you know, that thing that most other directors
use as a shameless way to get expositions out of the way.
And of
course most of his movies are heavily dialogue based, I mean, you’re not gonna
let Picasso run for derby champion, your just gonna let him do what he does
best, painting, or in Tarantino’s case, write amazing dialogue that I could listen
to for hours upon hours.
Anyway,
back on topic, From Dusk Till Dawn is a joined effort between the two friends, Quentin
Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, that tells the story of two brothers on the run
from the law, the one being a classy bank robber and the other a psychopathic
nuttjob with very selective hearing. They kidnap a family to get across the Mexican
border, where they find themselves trapped in a vampire infested bar called the
TittyTwister.
Amazing
dialogue, troubled and complicated multi-layered characters, campy practical effects
and brutal bloodthirsty monsters that don’t sparkle? And above all, Tom Saviny
rocking a d8ck pistol?
Did Christmas
come early or what?
#6
OH
BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?
You know
who else knows how to make good movies? The godd8mn Coen Brothers.
This movie
has it all, a retelling of one of my favorite story in modern (ish) age.
Three harmless
dumb inmates escape their prison and embark on a mission to find gold, all that
in the setting of the harsh world that was the state of Mississippi in the 30’s.
like many say, it’s the journey that makes a good story, not the treasure, and
damn if this isn’t one of the most amazing journeys ever made on screen. Along the
way our three doofusses meet a rich cast of characters and end up more than
once in unexplainable situations.
The atmosphere
that the movie bring to the table is rich and simply amazing, accompanied with
30’s blues and country songs this amazing comedy is more that deserving of the sixth
place of my list
Before
moving to the final five, I guess it’s time for some honorable mentions:
#11: American
Beauty
#12: Fear
And Loathing In Las Vegas
#13: American
Psycho
#14: Bride
of Frankenstein
#15: The
Big Lebowsky
Check in
next post for the Final 5
Nice list!
ReplyDeletethx :D
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