Friday, October 4, 2013

Sinister 2012 Review

The killing ‘meh’

Well, about time I review a recent horror movie, last one I did turned out to be about musical chairs, so let’s hope that this one has something resembling a storyline.
It might be easy to notice that I’m not that big of a fan of Hollywood and it’s money-whoring habits at the moment, sure there is some gold to be found while searching trough  pop artists who’s balls haven’t dropped yet and shitty teen drama romance that makes my gag reflexes strongly react to its sheer stupidity every time someone chooses for the sparkling twat.
But the gold is there, horror movies like Mama and even the Evil Dead remake (didn’t hate it, I’ll probably explain further my opinion someday, hold your pitchforks at bay people) give me hope that there is yet a chance that this storm that surrounds our movie theaters  will soon come to pass.
But where was I? Oh yeah, the highly praised “Sinister”, Scariest movie of 2012 and all other great talk, bout time I give that bad boy a watch.

“Totally not Jack Nicholson from the Shining” obsessed horror writer Ellison Oswalt decides that it would be a kick-ass idea for his children to grow up in a murder house, why? So he can write a book about the horrible murder of an entire family that happened not that long ago. A troubled probably alcoholic writer obsessed with getting his story no matter what? You sure Stephen King didn’t write this one? Unfortunately not, but moving on, a strange box keeps appearing in the house bearing a strange collection of 8mm films, our dear buddy Oswalt decides to give it a watch and ends up strung along in a conspiracy about a demonic psychopath’s picnic and pool party with a very dark twist.

First thoughts about this movie? The atmosphere was okay, the characters two dimensional and the acting was bearable, and given there are some kid actors in this one, it’s quite the compliment.
But did it make me soil my panties and run in fear screaming like a little b8tch? Seeing as that my neighbors haven’t yet called the cops complaining about a maniac running down the street screaming something about the lead guitarist of Slipknot being out to get him, I’ll have to say ‘oh sweet mamma with a cherry on top hells no with a capital N.
Predictable cheap jump scares, running annoying little ghost brats and a (even more) psychotic  Mick Thompson, come on guys, gotta try harder than that.
The story was okay I guess, the only real scare factor in this movie were the tapes, that sometimes are just plain disturbing, and that was great, it’s just a shame that the idea bucket ran out around halfway through the movie and they decided to go down in cliché avenue with a quick stop at Boreville.
I’m perhaps being a little too rough with Sinister, also seeing as it was partially written by another internet critic C. Robert Cargill from it should be at least able to avoid the common horror clichés, but for a movie as praised as this one, it’s unforgiving, it didn’t really bring anything new to the table, and even though the video viewing parts were great and the twist at the end waspretty obvious but still enjoyable, it didn’t raise the bar or even tried to.
Overall not really a bad movie, but the constant praise were highly exaggerated and left me with only one word in my mouth, Mhe…

Personal rating: 6

Critical rating: 6.5

Things I’ve learned from “Sinister”:
- Possibly the best missed opportunity for a “I heard the pool party kinda died after I went home” joke
- Painting on the wall is cute and all, until the axe comes into play.
- How to mow your lawn like a OH GOD WTF WAS THAT??
- Always watch the last parts of a video


  1. Yeah, I like the tapes (aside from the stupid endings you see near the end of the film), but the ghost kids are so awful. The third act ruins everything.

    Guess I should watch Mama. I tried to sit through the Evil Dead remake, but I was so bored I turned it off. I'll have to finish it one of these days.

    1. mama is in my opinion the best horror movie that came out the past few years, it's really a movie you need to see with an open mind and all the way trough. the first two acts are well balenced and really scary as hell, and the third goes to something else where Del Toro's artsy direction really shines, really liked it a lot. and evil dead was just dumb fun, i wasn't particular fund of the first Evil dead and i honestly believe the remake did it a tad better, at least the story made some sense and they only used practical effects, which for a movie of this day and age already steps it to ""pretty good"
      most people think it's a remake of the entire franchise and start to hate it for not being as good as Evil dead 2 or 3, but since it's purely a remake to the original and maybe a sequel to 2 and 3, i'm ok with it.

    2. and yeah, those ghost kids were annoying as hell, should have kept it closer to the chest with the "monster" and focused way more on the whole "snuff film" aspect which really focused more on the feeling of being disturbed and eerie instead of straight up to your face jumpscares that went nowhere

    3. I'll check out Mama then. I didn't really like the Evil Dead remake. It was ok. The practical FX were good, but they had CG fire in the opening. Mia was no Ash, and her acting at the end makes no sense. But yeah, I agree on Sinister.