Monday, September 16, 2013

Top 10 Favorite Movie (10/6)

Well, here’s something I’ve been meaning to do for a while.
As a self-proclaimed movie critic, it is only natural to ask what I believe are good movies. In my case, movies I like and movies I think are good are two completely different things, for example, is Birdemic a bad movie? Oh god beyond yes. Do I like it? Oh sweet mamma yes. Point made.
Then again there are also some movies that are considered masterpieces that I think are utter and complete waste of space, for example Moulin Rouge, according to most an Avant Guard masterpiece of the modern age that shone a light in the French underbelly trough Broadway musicals, my opinion? I’m still trying to get the severed heads of all the people that cooperated to create this abomination to put them on spikes in front of my house as a warning the next a88hat that wants to shoot the next “Great Gatsby”
Anyway where was I? oh yeah, top ten favorite movies, not the best ones, but my personal favorite, the kind of movie you could lock me up with in a basement for 40 days and enough food and water and I’d be all right. And before anything, and I know it’s a shock, but I haven’t seen all the movies ever created, so there’s a good chance your personal favorite isn’t in there.
So let’s begin my personal, chaotic and confused top 10 favorite movies of all time:

Here’s the story of what happens when everything goes wrong and how much you can hate someone you love.
Directed by Danny Devitto, this movie has one of my personal favorite subject ever put on film, the slow decent into madness. The idea that we constantly pushes our notion of right or wrong by giving in to the gray areas is simply amazing. How far we are willing to go sometimes can be as scary as fascinating. This dark comedy tells the story of the Roses, a supposedly perfect American family with a working husband and a wife who takes care of the children, all living in a beautiful house. On the surface, everything seems fine, but it slowly comes crumbling down around them as they start to hate and despise each other, at first like any argument between married couple, but as the movie goes on the hatred grows and the two start to go completely of the chart. Eventually going as far as turning the entire house in a battlefield, quite literally actually, going as far as trying to kill each other using almost comedic manners. The slow buildup of the relationship and the final result almost comes naturally, thanks to Devitto’s great storytelling. It doesn’t come as a surprise that the movie end in tragedy, thinking twice about it, the whole thing was a tragedy from the start, and a great one at that.

(or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb) 

Another dark comedy, starting to see a pattern here guys?
Although somewhat outdated according to some, this movie is in my opinion the greatest comedy of all times, why? Simply because the subject is none other than our own destruction.
Based in the cold war, an insane and paranoid colonel commands a squadron to bomb Russian ground with nuclear force. All that without the consent of the president, and with no way to communicate with the planes, the American government  is forced to stop them at all cost to prevent a nuclear Armageddon, even going as far as calling the Russians to warn them and to apologies. But wait, it gets even worse as the Russians admit to have a doomsday weapon capable to destroy all life on earth if Russia is under attack, and to top it all, the machine is commanded by a computer, meaning the Russians are unable to access it.
This movie is purely genius, the greatest comedy of all time, reflecting the hopelessness of the politicians and the Russian to change their fates, cleverly a reflection of the civilians of both countries during the cold war, also unable to reason with their own government in hope to stop them from destroying the world.
The humor is simply timeless and never fail to amuse, especially on such a dark subject as our own demise.


I’m allowed to dumb fun every once in a while, right? Ah whatever, I’m doing it anyway. Here’s Pitch Black and Riddick.
Here we come to what I said earlier when I said those movies don’t need to be perfect to be on this list. One of my favorite characters from all time, Riddick B Richard is an unstoppable killing machine with an attitude and a hearth of gold…ish…really rusty gold, am I still allowed to say bronze?
In the futuristic year of who-gives-a-f8ck, Riddick, experienced murderer and escapee of Butcher Bay, the universe’s toughest prison, find himself over the course of two whole movies chased by bounty hunters, Vampire aliens, weird roman symbolism with Nazi influents and other amazing and crazy foes. What really makes this movie is probably Riddick himself, and all his moral dilemmas and never ending dream to be left alone. Although Riddick can really make his namesake proud at some times, he is strangely reliable and easy to emphasize with, in a weird way that you wish you were as badass as him, what, just me?
Anyway, Riddick is enough of a badass to propel these movies to the number eight in my list. No further innuendos, symbolism or any of that sweet mumbo jumbo, just pure and raw manliness and testosterones all around.


Have I ever said Quentin Tarantino is a genius? No? well I should do it more often, Quentin Tarantino is a genius. What sets him apart from any other directors, besides his often eccentric subject and overall bat-sh8t-craziness, is mainly his ability to write good dialogue, you know, that thing that most other directors use as a shameless way to get expositions out of the way.
And of course most of his movies are heavily dialogue based, I mean, you’re not gonna let Picasso run for derby champion, your just gonna let him do what he does best, painting, or in Tarantino’s case, write amazing dialogue that I could listen to for hours upon hours.
Anyway, back on topic, From Dusk Till Dawn is a joined effort between the two friends, Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, that tells the story of two brothers on the run from the law, the one being a classy bank robber and the other a psychopathic nuttjob with very selective hearing. They kidnap a family to get across the Mexican border, where they find themselves trapped in a vampire infested bar called the TittyTwister.
Amazing dialogue, troubled and complicated multi-layered characters, campy practical effects and brutal bloodthirsty monsters that don’t sparkle? And above all, Tom Saviny rocking a d8ck pistol?
Did Christmas come early or what?


You know who else knows how to make good movies? The godd8mn Coen Brothers.
This movie has it all, a retelling of one of my favorite story in modern (ish) age.
Three harmless dumb inmates escape their prison and embark on a mission to find gold, all that in the setting of the harsh world that was the state of Mississippi in the 30’s. like many say, it’s the journey that makes a good story, not the treasure, and damn if this isn’t one of the most amazing journeys ever made on screen. Along the way our three doofusses meet a rich cast of characters and end up more than once in unexplainable situations.
The atmosphere that the movie bring to the table is rich and simply amazing, accompanied with 30’s blues and country songs this amazing comedy is more that deserving of the sixth place of my list

Before moving to the final five, I guess it’s time for some honorable mentions:
#11: American Beauty
#12: Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas
#13: American Psycho
#14: Bride of Frankenstein
#15: The Big Lebowsky

Check in next post for the Final 5